Only LOVE is real (or what to do when you find you only have 25 years left to live)

 

  So I’ve done the test and have found out I have nothing of importance to say when I try to make it all about me. My ego speaks up and my own wisdom falls short.  It’s so odd. But as soon as I meditate or pray or take a deep breath and ask for answers I feel the familiar spiral from my third eye (I call it my antennae) and then the words start flowing. I have no idea if this will prove helpful to anyone but that’s not the point. The message I received was painfully clear: I have limited time to complete my “mission,” my task that I was sent here to accomplish. It’s time to get that started. Again. ;) 

So here are my thoughts as of this morning. Saturday, September 14, 2019. I have been on yet another spiritual awakening. The catalyst is unimportant but long story short, a series of events has once again reawakened my soul and reminded me of my true identity

In any event I have started meditating. I am not experiencing what I would have expected meditation to be through all I have read, and yet it feels authentic. I guess this is just meditation my way? Any way, these meditations are causing me to experience increasingly vivid dreams (visions?). I’ve gone from months, if not years, of not sleeping well enough to dream/some would argue remember my dreams, to dreaming almost every night...even while still awake. Go figure. Whatever the reason, I will take it. 

     One night about a month ago, after a particularly emotionally draining day, I meditated to decompress prior to bedtime. That night, I dreamt i was in this big, brightly lit, white room.  I can still see it in my minds eye, but every word I try to assign to this image causes it to lose its vibrancy. Words fail. There was nothing particularly spectacular about the room as I noticed it, but I felt safe and expectant and peaceful. I experienced no anxiety (which is saying something). I was seated at a table, a  nondescipt, and yet not plain table. (Have I mentioned that words are not adequate for this experience?) And I was waiting patiently. I get the feeling there are many, MANY others doing the same thing as I.  I can sense their presence and I can “see” them in my mind’s eye, but I am not sure if I can actually “see” them? Either way, I was not concerned with them, nor they with me,  in the least. I still am not. 

However, their presence then (and now!) informs me that this is not an experience that is exclusive to me. After a time (a few minutes? Hours?, who can say?) a man comes and sits down across from me. I recognize this “man” and he feels completely familiar to me. However, ironically, I cannot remember his face to save my life, and yet I can still see it as plain as day. 

*Side note:It’s been my experience that Physical attributes are for human existence. This is definitely not that.*

He sits across from me and we basically start a conversation, but this conversation is all in our minds.  No words are exchanged because (once again) words are for the physical realm and spirit communicates telepathically in the mind or for me, in the heart. We started discussing basically what feels to be a mid-life “job evaluation”/review.  In many ways, this review feels EXACTLY as I have experienced my job reviews in my role as a public school teacher. However, there were a couple of very distinct differences. As I sat there listening to my spirit guide (what else could he possibly be?), there was not one ounce of judgement or anxiety in the entire exchange. NOT. ONE. OUNCE. As we “conversed,” my spirit guide informed me that I would live long enough for my young son to become “independent” but that I only have 6 years after his independence to complete my mission before my time on earth is done. When I asked what exactly I was supposed to be doing, the answer was clear: Teach the world that ONLY LOVE IS REAL. That’s it. No bells, no whistles, just a message of love. 

My guide also made it abundantly clear that I was under no obligation to actually complete this ‘mission.” I could choose to. Or not. It was completely up to me. No obligation and no anxiety. Free will.  

I felt satisfied with that and when I woke, my heart was racing, not out of fear, but out of excitement; out of HOLY COW! I HAVE TO GET MOVING HERE! Out of HOLY COW! IF I’M DOING THE MATH CORRECTLY, I ONLY HAVE 25 YEARS LEFT ON THIS EARTH! Well, for this time around, anyway.  There was no fear associated with the dream. There was no fear associated with my death. There is STILL no fear associated with the dream or my death. It is what it is and will be what It will be. My only fear is that I will not complete what I have been sent to this world, this time, to do. Well, THAT, and how do I prepare my son for my death even when it is 25 years off... 

What I know for sure, though, is that I have been asked to spread the word, the word that we all come here knowing, and yet we so quickly forget: Only LOVE is real. ONLY. LOVE. IS. REAL. I have no idea if i will be successful at my mission considering how much time I’ve let slide in my actions? However, I am determined to do what I was asked to do. NO matter how ridiculous I may sound or how the world may judge it. My son is now up, so it’s time to go for today, but gentle reminder to all: everything you’ve ever been taught in this world is a lie. ONLY LOVE IS REAL. You are ENOUGH EXACTLY AS YOU ARE IN THIS MOMENT. Thanks for reading. Until we talk again, blessings and bravery to you all. Xoxo Tina